The Most Interesting Kid In The World

12 Jul
If Charleston Heston and Ricardo Montalban had a love baby, it’d be this dude.
So…like any other night I was working, serving the masses and their hell babies when I started a new table. I told the kid the list of sodas and listed the beers for the dad when this 8 year old chubby little boy said, “I don’t always drink beer but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.” That kid is officially the coolest kid I’ve ever met. I died laughing because this 8 year old quoted one of the coolest beer commercials ever, and I don’t even drink beer! Haven’t seen ’em, here you go:
I thought that kid better keep being funny because he was a little chubster and being funny helps mask what’s actually weird about you. Take it from me, the child giant.
No, I’m not 14 I’m in 5th freakin’ grade!
After watching a bunch of comedy DVDs lately I have found that most funny people are funny because they are depressed or fat or depressed because they are fat…which doesn’t explain why the majority of them turn to hard drugs, that’s just stupid. Maybe I’m funny because I was a tall chubby kid, I don’t really care, I just want to make money off it!
Rock on funny chubby kids, you’re 100% cooler than the jocks and sluts. Trust me.

One Response to “The Most Interesting Kid In The World”

  1. MAYBELLINE July 12, 2010 at 1:12 PM #

    >No. You were just surrounded by runts (not the candy). Sorry Becca and Cassie; but it's time you learned the truth. I'm glad you all turned out wonderfully despite your fashion choices.

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