Nazi Torture at 24 Hour Fitness

20 Jul
I want to wrap my lips around those bags of frosting.

So…I was at the gym tonight and the choices on the TVs were CNN (I can’t watch anymore coverage of oily dead birds, it just makes me mad), ESPN (snore), Glenn Beck and TLC’s “DC Cupcakes.” I was listening to 30 Rock on my iPhone but couldn’t help but read GB’s Nazi turrets about how we’re turning into Rome and other crazy nonsense. Then something caught my eye on the farthest TV, baked goods. TLC has a ba-zillion baking shows but this one was all about cupcakes.

Smith’s Bakery in Bakersfield,CA. If God wanted a cake, he would go there.

I’m not a fan of cupcakes. Why? Cupcakes screw you out of frosting. Cakes are far superior because every side has frosting, cupcakes are lame town because only the top gets it. I don’t want more cake,cake is just the support system for the frosting. I love frosting, it is my Achilles heel. Either way, watching these women pipe sweet globs of butter cream frosting out of huge pastry bags was like watching some kind of sick porn as I sweated it up on the elliptical. Almost like some horrible kind of medieval torture. Better yet, since Glenn Beck was on, more like a Nazi torture used at concentration camps.

I bet her cake was awesome.

After that I got to watch TLC’s “Say Yes To The Dress.” So, screw you who ever picked the TV channels at 24 Hour tonight. You successfully told me why I don’t get to pick out super cool wedding dresses, it’s because I love frosting too much. Which sucks because when you get married you get a human sized cake!!!! Which I wouldn’t share with ANYONE!!

Now I will sit here, not eating cake but thinking about it. Thanks TLC, jerks.

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One Response to “Nazi Torture at 24 Hour Fitness”

  1. MAYBELLINE July 20, 2010 at 1:09 PM #

    >Be careful with your name calling. GB speaks the language of your homeland…the home of Smith's Bakery.As for dresses…try the one on the cover of Whipped Cream and Other Delights.http://www.blogseitb.com/eitbmusica/files/alpert1966%281%29.jpgGrandpa has this album.

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