If I were a Gay Man…

2 Nov
Use your creative skills gay dudes, Bea Arthur is harshly judging you from her thrown in Heaven.
So…this Halloween I saw and heard about plenty of gay dudes’ costumes. I hate to say it but I was underwhelmed. Although it made me think about what I would do if I were a gay man. (Then that made me think about writing a song to the tune of ‘If I Were a Rich Man’ from Fiddler on the Roof…but I didn’t do that, you’re welcome.)
Here’s a list of awesome costumes I would wear….if I were a gay man:
  • Julia Child, you could even make it the bloody version a la Dan Aykroyd on SNL.
  • Bea Arthur, perfect for the very tall man.
  • The cast of Golden Girls, if you have enough people.
  • Tootsie (duh.)
  • Freddie Mercury: Speedos, suspenders and a mustache. Slutty and funny, every one’s happy!
  • The cast of Some Like It Hot.
  • Glinda the Good Witch, something fun for fairies!
  • Mrs. Doubtfire
  • Joan Crawford, bring plenty of wire hangers.
  • Liz Taylor, but the crazy version in a wheel chair.
  • Carol Burnett’s version of Scarlett O’Hara
  • Annie and Daddy Warbucks
  • Charles Nelson Reiley
I could go on, but I like the costumes that are not the typical ones drag queens wear. Any who, keep it in mind for next year gay dudes. Just remember, Bea and I are watching…and judging.
“Oswald, I’m a man.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
Side note: I met a little chubster at work who told me he was going to be a Rough Rider for Halloween. He started to explain what they were and I told him I totally knew and Teddy is my FAVORITE President ever and gave him a sweet high five. That kid is awesome and creative.

One Response to “If I were a Gay Man…”

  1. MAYBELLINE November 2, 2010 at 1:10 PM #


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