You mind if I watch you eat that?

26 Jan
Milk is for your body like Hitler was for
a: the Jews
b: Poland
                  c: brown eyed people
            d: all of the above

So…I started reading a book about what to eat to clear your skin. I for one, don’t enjoy buying acne soap and wrinkle cream while getting judgemental looks from the teen mom cashier at Target. The book is really interesting because it says most acne is a reaction to bacteria in your gut. Since I can’t drink bleach to clean that crap out, well I could but it wouldn’t be great, I have to eat differently. (Don’t even try to tell me ProActiv works because I don’t suffer fools or waste money on bull crap.)They are promoting a traditional Japanese diet, translate: boring.

The biggest change has been NOT drinking or eating dairy. Cutting dairy out for me is like getting Lindsey Lohan off crack and fire water. I started using Almond Milk, which is good IN things but don’t take a swig and think you’ll be getting the passionate kiss on the mouth from God like you did when you drank the real thing.

Alright, no milk, but that also means no butter and no cheese. Slit my wrists now. It was Heather’s Mom’s birthday last week and I was in charge of the cake because…well, because no one is stupid that’s why I was in charge of cake. So, I made a vanilla pound cake with butter cream icing and didn’t even eat a slice. I just watched everyone eat theirs’, like some creepy voyeuristic pervert.

I could go on about how milk is horrible for you but like a girl that keeps going back to an abusive boyfriend, I don’t really want to talk too much smack because I still love it even though it’s leaving  marks all over my body.

And like Tootsie, rule following, judging others, and aversion to the word lover, Tina Fey and I also see eye to eye on our love of cake.

 

 

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3 Responses to “You mind if I watch you eat that?”

  1. MAYBELLINE January 26, 2011 at 2:35 PM #

    >Try pie.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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  2. Smorgasbord Orgasbord « - July 13, 2011

    […] for photos to supplement my list, the task turned into something almost pornographic. I really miss dairy…le sigh.  I also found that I tend to document all exceptional dinning experiences through […]

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