On The Sunny Side Of The Street

16 Feb
Although I can’t have any chocolate, this was all the sugar I needed this V-Day.
So… I spent Valentine’s Day with Alec Baldwin. You can stop braggin’ about your assorted box of Russell Stovers chocolate and romantic dinner at Olive Garden, and KNOW my day stomped yours. Bright and early on Valentine’s Day morning, I got up and drove into Hollywood to see Alec Baldwin received his star on the Walk of Fame. Heather came with me and we stopped at Starbucks before hand. I needed the boost, with my porcelain skin and aversion to any time of day ending with A.M., I already draw too many similarities to a vampire. The girl in front of us ordered $25 worth of coffee in between texting. I wanted to smack the back of her head, I had places to be, skank!
TIP: THIS is NOT the person to crowd in front of.
We got to Hollywood an hour before the ceremony, and there was already a butt load of people, but I got a good spot. The girl in front of me left to go find a bathroom and a few minutes later I heard, “Excuse me.” A girl, NOT the same one, pushed in front of me. Oh hell to the no. I’m a rule follower, and you can NOT just say excuse me and crowd your way to the front, not when it involves me getting out of bed early AND Alec Baldwin. I saw her gross ass bedhead hair that hadn’t been brushed for days, all oily & dandruffy, basically a walking Head and Shoulders ad. She was wearing high heels and rolled up jeans…I knew she was a stupid skank. I looked at the girl next to me, I saw that she was also frustrated. Since I was bigger, I pushed right up against skank-a-saurus Rex , breathing down her gross neck, making it super uncomfortable to be there. “Woooow, you’ve got to be effing kidding me,”  I said to the back of her flaky head. She stood there for a few more seconds, then left. She tried to get into the press area, but she was neither a member of the press, nor hot enough to enter. That’s the brakes! She came back to my area and I stood close to my new rule following friend and didn’t let her squeak in. “Uh, some people,” she said. “Screw yourself,” I replied, I’m pretty sure she did, she’s a skank, they can’t help themselves.
Shampoo is for closers.
I noticed the same homeless dude that was at Mel Brook’s ceremony was at this one, thankfully it was not a hot day so the trash bag he utilizes as a purse didn’t smell as bad. The press really started coming in and the guy in the photo below looked a lot like Huey Lewis, I wondered where ‘The News’ was. (That guy is actually Jerry Penacoli from Extra!)
Oh, whoa, workin’ for a livin’.
The event started. Johnny Grant isn’t the mayor anymore, so the new guy got things rolling. A few stars were there; Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock), Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson from ‘Parks & Rec” and Megan Mullally’s husband), Stephen Baldwin (proving that everyone has a goober little brother) and Anne Heche (who cares?!) &  Megan Mullally spoke. She is very funny and wrote a great speech. Billy Baldwin was supposed to speak but was sick, so another schmuck talked, then Alec got up and excepted his star.
He was very gracious, the speech was funny but he thanked a bunch of industry people that no one knew. (Why do people do that? If your agent got you a gig, you don’t have to thank him —you already PAID him, he did his job, what he was paid to do. Oh well, he’s just a nice guy.)
I don’t know what that guy was yappin’ about, neither does Alec. 
I’m going to be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can.”- Jack Donaghy
After he did interviews (with NBC only reporters) he came over to us peasants. What sucks about stuff like this is there’s always a bunch of douche b’s that want to get crap signed so they can sell it on eBay. I effin’ hate them and they were there in force.
A: Always, B: Be, C: Charming
Always Be Charming
It was a fun way to spend Valentine’s Day, but I had to drive back and go to work. After an awesome day, a little kid in a wheel chair snapped my happy ass back down to reality and told me I looked like Miley Cyrus. I took it as a compliment since he was a kid and had no way of knowing she’s actually a gangling weirdo. Then his Mom chimed in and said I must get that all the time. Thank you life,even though you gave me lemons to make lemonade with, you always make sure to squirt a little juice in my eye, just to keep it real!
Educate Yo’ Self: Song my blog title is referencing
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8 Responses to “On The Sunny Side Of The Street”

  1. MAYBELLINE February 16, 2011 at 3:33 PM #

    >Johnny Grant died 3 years ago. That's the reason he wasn't able to make it.Who was peaking out of the curtain?Who is responsible for the steller cinematography?

  2. L February 16, 2011 at 9:03 PM #

    >I know Johnny's dead, he was super old, it happens. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! He works for the Cinespace Lounge, he's not actually the great and powerful OZ…I don't think. And I got the video from the walk of fame people, I had videos but this was easier and didn't require me to figure out anything technologically.

  3. MAYBELLINE February 16, 2011 at 9:23 PM #

    >Your still shots?

  4. L February 16, 2011 at 10:12 PM #

    >All are mine, except the first one. I think I got some pretty good one.

  5. ~ February 17, 2011 at 3:47 AM #

    >I know you LOVE him, and I don't want to dis him too badly, but. . .what about his stubby little fingers!! (Check them out as they are helping hold up his chubular body near his star.) They're a little bit "icky". Will you at least admit that!? Other than that, it sounded like the perfect way to spend a Valentine's day!! Oh, and Billy was "sick"? Is that what they classify a hangover as nowadays???

  6. MAYBELLINE February 17, 2011 at 5:30 AM #

    >Good pix.As for the stubby fingers comment, I believe it's the angle of the dangle. Check out any other pix and his hands look fine – not at all icky.It would be great if someone from the Baldwin camp would read this and at least leave a comment with or without an ID.You haven't considered going back to this spot with a chisel have you?

  7. L February 17, 2011 at 9:56 AM #

    >I like his finger, but I have sausage fingers mah self. I don't know what was aillin' Billy, so…? No chisel, I need a Fred in my life before I do that.

  8. Michael February 22, 2011 at 7:19 AM #

    >I am also guilty of sausage fingers as well.As stated in Einstein's famous theory:The angle of the dangle is in direct proportion to the bootie of the cutie and the heat of the meat(squared)

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