Baa-Baa-Black Sheep

31 May

I've got your wool right here.

So…I’ve been doing my family tree, like I said, is super addictive. Early one morning I found that I am a descendant of the loins of William I, The Lion of Scotland. Cool, great, awesome, right? Not so fast.  Billy knocked up Isabel Avenal, his mistress.

That’s just dandy, my great-great…..grandma was a skank. Not cool. I am staunchly anti-skank.

I looked further into this black sheep in my family tree and saw that they had NINE kids together while he and his wife only had four. Maybe he didn’t actually like his wife that much, I get it—arranged marriages. True, maybe he was a total hottie and they really loved each other…I mean, 9 kids there had to be something there.

William The Lion, King of Scotland and Super Fox Extraordinaire

This was centuries ago, this doesn’t really affect me…but it does. I can’t stand stupid sluts but Isabel was my kind of slut, the smart kind. She didn’t just doink the blacksmith down the road, she set her standards high and went for the King and she got security. Good job chick.  Plus, she lived and died at Stirling Castle…see, smart AND baller.

Stirling Castle in Scotland. BALLER.

Her smart thinking hundreds of years ago has influenced my disgust with stupid skanks. So, thanks for doinking a married dude great-great-great—grandma. Good job.

Moral of the story, if you’re going to be a slut, get something other than VD out of it.


One Response to “Baa-Baa-Black Sheep”

  1. MAYBELLINE June 3, 2011 at 3:31 PM #

    That’s my room there on the right.

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