Freak Out

8 Jul

What a dreamboat.

So…what am I really afraid of? A freak accident. Not all freak accidents are as funny as the SNL sketch, ‘Appalachian Emergency Room,’ so let me break down my fear.

1.Lack of Control

I’m a control freak and as you know freak accidents are not something I can control. It’s annoying.

2. Loosing Teeth

I have nightmares about this. Falling down, tripping, getting tripped and smacking my face on the ground. I would imagine a loss of teeth would be involved in a weird accident.

3. Needles

I hate needles. This fear is so deep that I passed out cold while getting my ears pierced when I was 18.I also can’t look at them on TV, they freak me out.


Needles and accidents lead to blood, which makes me pass out. Don’t talk to me about blood, show me your sore or make me watch any of the ‘Saw’ movies because I’m not having it!

I have had some freak accidents in my time. I’ve burnt my ass on a metal slide in the noon day sun. Dropped a curling iron on my thigh. Bit through my lip, twice, when I was little. In 6th grade I sat on a pencil which got lodged in my left butt check.There’s a small green dot  left as a result of the accident, it’s my only “tattoo.” My Mom says if I ever get disfigured in a car wreck she’ll ask to look at my butt to identify me.  Thanks Mom.


4 Responses to “Freak Out”

  1. Suz July 8, 2011 at 2:32 PM #

    Hahaha! What makes your mom think your butt would be intact after a disfiguring accident?

  2. BabyCakes July 8, 2011 at 4:26 PM #

    Hmm, good question Suz! Also, that’s an awesome picture…

  3. MAYBELLINE July 8, 2011 at 7:49 PM #

    I too have a fear of falling face first and disrupting all my teeth. Weird.

    To Suz: if an accident would occur to Lauren, her “pucker factor” would be so extreme that most likely the only identifying mark would be the butt tattoo deep inside her colon. However, no accident will happen because I won’t hear of it. That is all.


  1. Get Right, Get It Tight « - July 14, 2011

    […] lastly, I’m happy I don’t have any tattoos and I won’t be getting any. (Remember, I hate needles.) I’m sure most people will regret their tattoo choices later in life…like Kelly from […]

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