Smorgasbord Orgasbord

13 Jul

“If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?” I will eat my meat but I’ll pass on the pudding, thanks.

So…what would you eat for your last meal? While looking for photos to supplement my list, the task turned into something almost pornographic. I really miss dairy…le sigh.  I also found that I tend to document all exceptional dinning experiences through photographs.

Me and Grandma enjoying “The Setup” at Woolgrower’s. 

First things’ first, I will start off with Basque Soup and LOTS of bread and butter (oh butter!!) from Woolgrower’s. Basque soup is the best vegetable soup ever but you add beans and salsa in, then scoop it all up with your bread.

Carmel Apple Martini, tastes just like the suckers.

I will be sipping on a Carmel Apple Martini. I first discovered these at the Grand Lux Cafe in Las Vegas and holy crap, are they good!

Bring on the MEAT!

Ok, after the soup is done- enough with the healthy crap- I want some STEAK! Not just any steak. Three Christmases ago my Dad made the best steak I ever but into my mouth (the very top photo is evidence of the sheer delight it brought me.) He went to the butcher and bought huge Porterhouse steaks. He had the guy cut up the center, ensuring both the filet and the strip had bone on them for maximum flavor. Holy crap. It was wondrous.


As for sides, I want my parents’ lasagna and my Mom’s zucchini casserole. Both of these dishes require a butt load of cheese that is baked so it gets all bubbly and crispy on top.  Speaking of cheese, I’ll throw in Smaptie’s Mom’s cheese bread. It’s easy to make but as hard as I try, I can’t make it like her mammy!

The BEST ice cream in the Universe.

Speaking of dairy, let’s have some ice cream from Dewar’s. I want peanut butter fudge, and I want it now, Daddy!!

Cake from Smith’s: Designed by Dad for maximum frosting potential.

Don’t even think I won’t have room for frosting. I will make room! The cake above (from Smith’s Bakery, of course!)  was designed by my Dad for my 21st birthday. It was AWESOME! I’m sure as I lay dying  and images from my life flash before my eyes, this cake will be one of them and I will smile and creep out my kids one last time before death.

And after this meal, I will then die of a heart attack . Or my innards will explode because of a massive back up due to a lack a of roughage.  Either way, WORTH IT!

Before this blog challenge happened I asked two of my friends at work what their last meals would be.

Miss New Booty Lindsey said, “A beef burrito from Taco Lita, mac and cheese from Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, and a tuxedo cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory.” I hope she doesn’t plan on getting electrocuted  because I would hate to be the person to clean up that greasy sh*t show.

George, goddess of love, that’s what you are!

I’ve known George the Bartender for years, he is a vegan. I posed the same question to him but said, “No crappy, healthy, vegan restrictions!” No problem. George’s meal would be, ” Sausages, a medium rare steak, lobster tail, 30 pieces of chicken wings with blue cheese dressing, spicy shrimp cocktail, Boston Cream Pie, and coffee and Kahlua.”  BOOM! It was as if he’d already been preparing for my question.

What would you want on for you last meal?

While you think, enjoy Paul Lynde as Templeton the Rat.


3 Responses to “Smorgasbord Orgasbord”

  1. MAYBELLINE July 13, 2011 at 10:25 AM #

    Roma on a soft roll with no peppers from Caesar’s Deli, Fritos, and a Dr. Pepper.
    I’m easy to please.

  2. BabyCakes July 13, 2011 at 11:45 AM #

    Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, that’s it. Oh, and chocolate gelato. Actually, anything and everything chocolate, yeah that sounds good.

  3. Suzanne Blender July 13, 2011 at 11:18 PM #

    I honestly don’t know how people can answer this question! It’s way too difficult for me to even think about; I get nervous and my brain bounces from this food item to that one, and I can’t seem to pull one out of the pack to even start my menu. This is horrible!!!

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