Zero to Hero

13 Aug

What does your hero look like?

So…who can be my hero, baby? I’ve never loved the word hero and didn’t think I had any. Heroes wear capes and too tight of pants. For this entry I will take the word hero not to mean a godlike being but as a person admired for their achievements and noble qualities. They went from a zero to a hero, if you will.

I’m sure there’s a theme for the majority of the people on this list…like icons of the gay community or they’re all loud, bawdy and gaudy. Actually those go hand in hand, now don’t they?

Margaret Mitchell with Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh

Margaret Mitchell

This woman only published one book, Gone With The Wind. If you could only write one book, what a book to write! I suppose you could liken the country’s interest in the book to how pre-teens today are with Harry Potter. Margaret grew up during the Jazz Age and was raised on stories of the Old South, told by her Grandmother while they explored the old plantations in Georgia. Unfortunately, she was killed by a drunk driver in 1949. It’s a shame she only wrote one thing but I’ve read it every year since I was 12.

Fanny Brice in the Ziegfeld Follies

Fanny Brice

Hello gorgeous. Fanny is the inspiration for my favorite musical, Funny Girl. (As much as I love Barbra Streisand, she’s too political for my taste, you’re an entertainer, entertain me! ) Fanny Brice was hilarious and a great singer. It was a big deal that she got into the Ziegfeld Follies because Ziegfeld was known for “glorifying the American girl.” Basically it would be like  me working as a showgirl in Vegas…weird. But he was a genius for doing that because Fanny had a quick wit and could bring people to tears with her songs.  Watch the movie, her story is very interesting…well I relate to it at least!

I don't know either Tina.

Tina Fey

Of course T-Fey would be on my list of funny women who aren’t conventionally beautiful but successful because they’re smart. Besides the fact that she’s my personality’s doppelganger,  she’s found fame without being a skank or using filthy language for shock value.  I look at her and think, “If I just work hard I can make it…then I can afford a chef and personal trainer to get me down to an acceptable anorectic size!” (Joking, Mom. )

The Divine Better Midler

I’ve loved Bette since I was in grade school. She was in a bunch of kid movies at that time as well, Hocus Pocus was my favorite as a kid.  I got her greatest hits cassette tape for Christmas when I was in 3rd grade and remember staring at the cover and thinking, “Gosh, I want to be just like that, loud and funny with big  tits.”

Friends, be careful what you wish for. In addition to that, any mother who’s child listens to Bette and Barbra for hours on end should know they are raising a future Queen of Queens. I don’t know if my Mom knew that, but she does now!

I wear the same thing when I go out in the sun.

Lucille Ball

I’ve loved Lucy since I was at least 2 years old. I’ve seen all the ‘I Love Lucy’ episodes a million times and they still crack me up! I didn’t think about this until recently but she didn’t begin that TV show until she was 40…that gives me some hope, especially since Hollywood is known for loving only youthful and tan people.

I’m sure there are few more I could add to this list but these are the major chicks that influence me.


One Response to “Zero to Hero”

  1. MAYBELLINE August 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM #

    Note dearest readers, these are the female CELEBRITY influences. There a so many behind the scenes that will, no doubt, be mentioned when “L” accepts a well deserved award. No. These are not anorexic, singing, gay magnets. These are gals that can still make “L’s” ears slide back.

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