Tag Archives: The Colbert Report


5 Mar

“Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider.”- George Carlin

So…what do stupid people think about? That’s a legitimate question since there are more and more of them trolling the Earth every day. I mean, Snookie just got knocked up, that can’t be great news for our society.

Roger and I talk about this often, partly because I work with the masses and partly because he’s a teacher. While bitching about this over lunch at Yardhouse, we asked the waitress what kind of booze made up our amazing drinks. She told us and said she had no idea where to find it. I suggested she Google it.  “Oh my God, I never thought of that,” was her response.

Am I the only one using the internet for it’s true purpose? Learning…and cat videos. I love the internet. Most days I end up getting sucked into a Wikipedia black hole. I’ll start looking up F.Scott Fitzgerald. Then, through a series of questions I end up finding out that Abe Lincoln’s son filled in Abe’s grave with cement because so many people tried to steal the body. (True and pretty gross.)

While I’m on my weird, acid trippy, trivia quest, everyone else is doing what? Looking at other people’s lives on Facebook?

Let’s face it, Facebook is pretty lame. Uh, and those stupid status updates…I don’t care how sick you are or how your life is like a fairytale with your perfect husband (choke yourself) or my favorite, how bored you are.

When I was a little kid, my Granny told me, “intelligent people don’t get bored.” You’re ON the internet while you’re typing “I’m bored.” Look something up and learn something new. Most of these kids/young adults are all suffering from ADHD right? Shouldn’t they be looking up a bunch of things so that they’re even more widely read then myself? Oh yeah, that involves thinking, which is boring.

Here’s a little clip about what happens to society when people get bored:

What bothers me almost as much as people who are too lazy to think is when people give someone a hard time about being knowledgeable.

Example: There’s a guy in my writing group who referenced Ken Burns in his story. I know who Ken Burns is and the guy who wrote about it clearly knows who he is, no one else did. The others who didn’t know about Ken said, “Who knows who Ken Burns is? I mean really.”

What the hell is this, high school? Only nerds know who Ken Burns is….is that the mentality? Shame people for being smart? When I don’t know about something, I shut the eff up. I don’t open my mouth and prove to everyone that I’m an idiot. Stephen Colbert’s interview with Ken Burns will inform you who he is and the introduction showcases, perfectly, that not only nerds know about this guy.

What happened to our society? No one is motivated to think or create anything new anymore. Don’t believe me? There are TWO remakes of both ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and ‘Snow White’ coming to theaters this year. Why is that? Because, as Dick Cavett said, “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.” It’s easier to recycle stories everyone already knows than think up a new one.

Since most people are shoved through high school/college and retain almost nothing, watch Colin Quinn’s stand up special about the history of the world. What else are you doing? You’re bored.